My Facebook "Friends"

It's all the same anyway!

I was just over on my Facebook Page and someone had asked me for more info on my books.  What I was working on, what was up next.  At that moment, I had this horrifying feeling that I'd been posting so much silly, funny stuff, I'd neglected to post what most people were probably there to find--book info!  (I always feel slightly off about pushing and plugging myself!)  Mostly, I'd been re-posting photos with funny captions, jokes, lots of positive, uplifting quotes, and anything posted by George Takei.  (Yes, that George Takei.) 

 

I did what any horrified social networker would do.  I immediately posted all the latest book news, followed quickly by asking my followers if I'd been posting too much silly stuff.

 

Their replies really touched me.  By and large, they all said they just loved my silly posts, especially the personal ones.  They loved that I post about my kids, grandkids, dogs, family, favorite TV shows, corny jokes, and all my Positive-Pollyanna "create your own reality" stuff, too.  One of my followers said--wait a minute, wait a minute.  Followers?  Really?  One of my followers?  Doesn't that sound like I'm some kind of charismatic cult leader or something?  Sheesh!

Okay, back on topic.  One of my facebook page regular visitors (that's better but still too long) posted that when I litter my page with funny personal stuff, it makes her feel like a friend, instead of just a reader.  

 

And it took me a second to digest that, because my immediate reaction was, well, duh, you are a friend.

 

Now okay, that sounds kind of sappy, not to mention self-serving.  But it's not.  And I certainly don't mean to suggest that the people visiting me on line, whom I've never met, are as dear to me as those who've been by my side going through life with me.  But friends?  Yes, yes they are.  And let me tell you why.

 

Friendship is, to me, an emotional connection.

When I write my stories, I am literally pouring my heart out.  I laugh out loud at the funny parts, and I cry at the sad parts and I scare the beetlejuice out of myself at the scary parts.  (I really do.  Someone walked into my office once during a particularly scary scene, and when I realized they were there I screeched and jumped out of my chair with my heart in my throat.)

 

Anyway, later on, years later, perhaps, someone in some other part of the country, some other part of the world, maybe, reads those words, and they laugh in the places where I was laughing, they cry in the places I was crying, and their hearts race in the very spot where mine was racing.  It's a connection.  It's a rare and special connection.

  

Living in the age of the Internet, the age of Facebook and Twitter and all the rest, gives those of us today a unique opportunity we've never had before.  We get a chance to deepen that connection with our readers.  To put a face (or at least a profile picture) and a name, to what used to be an anonymous book purchaser.  We can share a joke, life events, joys and challenges with one another.  We can ask for and share advice with each other.  I get asked for a lot of advice, probably because of my status as clergy, my Law of Attraction expertise, and my advice column (now a book, commercial coming later.)  As clergy, I'll never be too busy to offer it.  Because I care.

 

I think the world is getting smaller.  I think the Internet has helped that to happen.  And I'm so glad I live in this time.  I think the odd illusion that mankind has kept intact for so long, the illusion that we're separate, individual beings, is falling apart.  More and more we can't help but see that we're all cells in one bigger organism.  We're all parts of a greater whole.  We're the physical extension of the Divine.  Spirit wanted to experience physicalness, and we are the result.  One. We're ONE.

 

So yes, those people on my FB page are friends. Those people reading my stories are friends too. More than that.  They're me.  And I'm them.  We are so so so much the same. We're all God's eyes and hands and hearts on earth.  And what's not to "LIKE" about that?

I sign most of my emails; Hugs, Maggie

 

I only do that because I can't actually give you one in person.

Hugs,

Maggie

FREE on Kindle 2/14-1/19

PS: My book SHAYNE ON YOU, a compilation of several months of my advice column along with numerous blog posts, essays and other writings is going to be FREE 

for 5 days beginning on Valentine's Day. (Kindle only for now. It'll go up everywhere in March, promise!)

 

'Cause I couldn't get you each a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

Thoughts at Three Weeks Before 50

Yes, it’s winter.  I might as well admit it.  Aside from an occasional Indian Summer or January thaw, I’m mostly winter, now.  But there’s beauty in that.  Not just the deep, deep beauty of wisdom, of calm knowingness, of peaceful certainty, of confidence, of strength, of abundance and of pure female power.  Of knowing who I am and what I’m doing, what I want and how to get it.  Of not just belief in, but absolute certainty of my own talent, my own value.  Not just the beauty of all those things, but also real, physical beauty too.  For here there’s every bit of beauty from the seasons gone before, the  innocent exuberant fearless adventurous maiden of spring, the lush passionate wild woman of summer, the gentle fullness, nurturing abundance, generous provider of the autumnal mother, all of it combined and coated now in the crystalline glaze of this.  Of winter. Of the Old One, of the Crone.  And it is more beautiful than anything gone before, like the leafless winter trees, their limbs gleaming beneath a sleet-storm’s thick layer of liquid diamonds, sparkling in the brilliant winter sun.  So rare, and yes, fleeting.  But intensely, breathtakingly beautiful.  And that’s how I choose to see me at 50, and going forward. Sparkling like those crystalline fairyland trees against the bluest blue sky in the noonday winter-white sun.

Snowblog!

We finally got snow here at Serenity!  I've been waxing happy over the 40 degree winter temps and how I can go running outdoors several times a week (Cause I'm recently tough enough to run outside in winter, but still too wimpy to do it if it's less than 35.  One day I did it at 27.  Didn't like it.  Don't do stuff I don't like.  'Nuff said.)  But back to the subject.  I was really enjoying the warm winter.  And then today, I woke up to the most breathtakingly beautiful snowfall I think I've ever seen.  It was all light and fluffy, and clinging an inch deep to every branch, every twig, of every tree.  Even the power lines look magical.  Everything has sprouted a coat of pure white wool.  

As we walked the dogs this morning, I just couldn't get over it.  Every direction, a different, fairyland-like view.  The wind was blowing cold into my face, and I was bundled head to toe.  And yet I was loving it.  I had to run back inside for the camera to capture it all.

The dogs loved it even more.  They went crazy over the snow, especially Niblet, my little snowbunny.  She couldn't get enough, and kept pushing her nose through the fluff like a doggy-snowplow.  

Anyway, I'm just basking in the beauty of it today.  I'm going to try to hold onto this feeling, and not let it morph into grumping and griping about the endless winter around the end of February or so.  (When I start that, someone remind me and point me back to this blog post.)

 I just had to post these photos and gush with praise for nature's beauty today.  As I looked back at the house, from the magical little woodlot beside it, I thought to myself that it's a wonder the walls don't bulge outward with the amount of love it holds.  We are very lucky and very blessed and every single day, we notice and really relish the wonderful things in our lives, from each other and the dogs, to the natural beauty around us, the gorgeous rebuilt "Phoenix" we live in, our home, Serenity, and the fabulous people and experiences in our lives.  

Basking.  Appreciation.  Pure raw joy.  Dancing in the first snow like a four-year old.  These are some of the keys to a fulfilled life.  Do these things every single day, and you'll get happier and happier.  It cannot fail.

Happy Friday the 13th!  Happy Winter!  Happy Snowdays!

The Sacred Shower. No, Really!

I was having such a great time in the shower this morning, that it hit me that maybe not everyone takes their showers as seriously as I do.  And I thought, There's a blog post in this.

And there was.  So here it is.  Some ways that you, too, can make even your mundane daily (or not, I’m not judging) shower an empowering, happiness boosting experience. You can start right now, today, without having to shop first.  I’ll give you my two favorite shower experiences.

1. I downloaded the FREE toning meditation by Heather Macauley Noell at A Space of Love and and put it on my iPod.  It’s a ten minute ooom and ahhh type meditation that brilliantly combines the two into an ahhhhhhhhhhooooooooommmm tone. It's set to music that was created using the electric signals of a human heart in an ultra relaxed state.  I mean, it’s real music, they just somehow translated the heart signals into equivalent notes.  (Look, I don't know how, this isn't area of specialty.  I just know it's beautiful and it works.)  It’s truly bliss-inducing.  In Eastern Traditions, one ahhhs in the morning and oooooms in the evening (or maybe the other way around.)  One tone is one of gratitude, and the other is of opening yourself up to receive to more blessings.  Heather says rather than berate herself for doing one and forgetting the other, she designed this combination meditation, and it’s a powerful, peaceful, tranquil experience.    I often play it and ahhoom along with it while taking my shower.  (No, Grasshopper, one does not always need to meditate while sitting in the lotus position with one’s eyes closed.  One can meditate while in the shower, because washing is so automatic you can do it without too much focus.  I don’t recommend meditating while driving, although I’ve done that too.  And so far, survived. You know, I've been flipped the bird and honked at angrily a few times, but aside from that...)

2. My other favorite shower activity is rocking out.  Or, to be more specific, blasting my favorite rock & roll music while signing at the top of my lungs, and often busting a few of my best moves in the shower stall. This activity continues while I perform my other bathroom ablutions, like drying or straightening my hair, dressing and putting on makeup.  It only stops when I brush my teeth (and sometimes emerges garbled and foamy even then) so I always wait for a less than favorite song for that.  It really messes up the mirror when a song I love comes on while I have a mouthful of toothpaste.

The notion here is to find absolute joy in the most mundane of tasks.  You can apply this philosophy to anything you have to do in life. 

But while we’re on the topic of bathrooms, let’s talk a bit more.  Because really, as women, or at least as women with small children (mine are grown, but I remember,) often the only me-time we get is our bathroom time.  Sometimes we don’t even get to be alone in that sanctuary!  So it needs to be really special and we don’t need to spend a lot of money to make it that way.  A little, but not a lot.  It’s more attention and care than money.  Some of these suggestions will cost more, some less, but all are going to make your inner sanctum more like sacred space.
 

*Buy a few of those puffy shower scrubbies in various colors.  They’re like a buck in the beauty aisle at the grocery store.

*Decide on “your scent.”  Spend some time with this.  Some of us go through many years without choosing a signature scent.  Find yours (and get feedback from your fella, because life will be much more fun if he loves the way you smell as much as you do) and then start stocking up whenever you can, or asking for it for holidays and birthdays and whatnot.  Get the whole thing, the body wash, the lotion, the spritz, the perfume, all in your scent.  Layer it so it lasts.  This could be more expensive than some of the other suggestions here, unless you wait for mother’s day or an anniversary and request the gift basket in your chosen flavor.
 

*Always have music in your bathroom.  You can program several playlists, one for generating high energy, one for soothing and calming your down, one for when you want to feel sexy and frisky, another for when you want to feel powerful and in charge.  Enter your sanctum and the first thing you do is turn on the music.
 
*Get pretty towels and washcloths.  That can be really nice, and not that expensive, especially if you just get a couple at a time. 

*Have nice cushy bathmats and rugs on your bathroom floor. 

*Give yourself permission to have shampoos and conditioners and lotions that you absolutely love, even if they cost a bit more than you want to spend.  Things like this, things just for you and no one else, shouldn’t always be the cheapest things you can find.  If they are, it devalues you.  And since you’re probably the one doing the shopping, that means YOU are devaluing you.  And if you don’t value you, who will?

*Have a plush robe and slippers in the sanctum, so you can wrap up in them and just bask.

Some of my favorite bathroom gadgets:
Izunami brand flat iron for straightening hair quickly, easily, beautifully.  Around $90.

ConAir-$19.99

*A foot soaking tub that plugs in to vibrate and keep the water warm, combined with some lovely foot soaks (or just add baking soda to the water.)
 
*A Ped-Egg for about $7,(and foot lotion of your choice, for after those lovely foot soaks.)
 
*Venus razors, which don’t need shaving cream (but then use it anyway.)
 

$18.00!  I'm getting one right now!

*One of those towel wraps with velcro to hold it in place while you primp.
Aveda Products for your hair, shampoo, conditioner, Smooth Infusion, Elemental Oil.  Pricey, but worth it. 
 
*28 Day Mascara from Solutions.com  Get a set for your lashes, and another, a shade lighter, for tinting your brows.  Lasts for weeks.

*Rita Hazan Root Concealer by Sephora.com to touch up roots in between visits to the salon.

If you can have your own bathroom, do.  If you can’t, make the most of your shared one.  Keep it as clean and neat as you can without knocking yourself out over it.  

So there are my tips for making your bathroom time sacred.  And one last essential: remember to lock the door.

Another New Beginning!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know, everyone's saying that.  And the grumpy ones are replying, "What's so happy about it?"  And the blissful LOA-Bunnies are saying, "It can be a happy new year, or it can be a miserable one.  Your choice, grumpy-butt."  Which makes the grumpy ones even grumpier.

The question of New Year's Resolutions always comes up this time of year, so we might as well tackle it right now.  Are resolutions good or bad?  Do they work? If they do, then why are we all resolving to do the same darn things, year after year?  Lose weight, quit smoking, etc. 

Here's why.  Because resolving to do something isn't the same thing as doing something.  And because saying, "This year I will...." or worse "This year I will try to...."  is the same thing as saying, "Because I don't currently."

To work, a resolution has to be--well, not a resolution.  But more of a shift in your perception.  A new way of being. 

Okay, say you're looking out the northern facing window of your home at an oak tree every single day, and you're sick to death of that oak tree.  You might "resolve" to stop looking at that oak tree.  You're looking at it as you resolve not to.  You're talking about the oak tree as you make your resolution.  You're telling everyone on line how you're going to give up looking at that oak tree this year for sure.  Yep, you say, staring it down.  You just wait, oak tree.  I'm going to try not to look at you so often next year.  That's what I'm going to do."  And then you glare at it and wait for it to disappear because you've said the magic words. 

It doesn't work that way, folks.  You actually have to move your ass to another window, and look at something else.  You have to actually stop looking at the oak tree.  You need to turn away from it.  You can't just threaten to.

So as for your resolutions for the newborn year, don't talk about what you're going to do, or worse, what you're going to try to do.  Just start doing it.  Start being who you want to be.  Tomorrow, the first day of the new year, do all the things the person you wish you were would be doing.  Wish you were thinner? Then do the things that, in your perception, thin people do.  Go jogging.  Visit a gym.  Eat nuts and twigs.  Think like a thin person.  Act like a thin person.  And you will become a thin person.

What you can't do is stand there telling your fat you that you're not going to be fat anymore while noticing how fat you are, and expect the fat to fall off.

Just start being thin.

I watched the Iron Man competition on TV this year (yeah, I know, watching isn't the same as doing, but just let me get to my point here.)  I saw people in their 80's finishing this challenge.  I saw people with no legs, finishing this challenge.   I saw a woman with stage 4 colon cancer finish this challenge.  And I thought, you know our bodies are pretty much all the same.  There's very little difference in our DNA, really.  It's minuscule.  We'd all look alike to an alien race.  If one body can do something, chances are pretty good that every other human body in existence can do something pretty darned similar.  There just are no excuses. 

It's all in our heads, folks.

So, don't vow to lose weight.  Just start being fit. 

Don't vow to try to quit smoking.  Juar start being a non-smoker.  Just become one, today, do it.  Say, I don't smoke.  I'm not a smoker.  Believe it.  BE it.

And listen, while we're on the topic, this sort of changing from who we are into who we keep saying we want to be, doesn't have to happen only once a year.  You don't have to wait eleven months to try again if you "fall off the wagon" by February.  (Where do we get this stuff?)

Every day is a new beginning.  Every.  Single.  Day. 

Now, go make it a happy new year.

PS:  Speaking of 2012....If you look at the clock, and see that there are only 12 numerals on it, does that mean the world is going to end when we get to 13, or that we start over again at 1? 

Now apply that to the Mayan calendar, and relax. 

You're welcome.

HAPPY 2012!!!!!

2012: "A Message of Hope"

Winter Solstice, 2011

Nature's Ice Sculptures

It's the Winter Solstice today, December 21st, the shortest day of the year, and therefore, tonight is the longest night.  And like everything in our natural world, it's a reflection of everything else.

Every holiday celebrated at this time of year centers around light.  Have you noticed that?  We light our homes and Christmas trees, we light the candles on the menorah. Creating light during the darkest part of the year is a natural thing to do.  We humans intuitively crave light in the darkness.  But our natural tendencies are only part of the reason for all the lights, fires and candle-glow of the season.  The other part is pure magick--sympathetic magick, to be precise.

Our ancestors lit bonfires on the highest hills all over the countrysides on Solstice night.  The light was supposed to help the sun, who symbolically dies on the longest, darkest night of the year, and is symbolically reborn the following morning.  They could see that on this night each year, the sun was at its weakest point.  But if it could just manage to rise tomorrow morning, it would once again begin to grow stronger. (As the days begin to grow longer beginning on the day after the Winter Solstice.) The bonfires, the candles (and our holiday lights too, today, I suppose) were supposed to lend extra power to the infant sun to help it be reborn.  This reflects the notion we all still have today--that nothing will ever get done unless we do it ourselves.
We humans like to feel important that way.  ;)

The message of the Winter Solstice is this: Even when things appear to be dark and sort of dead, they aren't really.  Life and light are always there, maybe waiting backstage, maybe hidden in shadow, but only briefly.  They always come through.  Hopelessness is really just a misunderstanding. Death is an illusion.  Darkness is really only a shadow cast by the sun. And all of it is temporary. When you see the Christmas lights twinkling, and the candles glowing, and the fireplaces crackling, be reminded of that beautiful message. 

Every single dawn is a new beginning, but the dawn after the Solstice is one of the most powerful new beginnings of all, the biggest one of the year!  If you've been needing a fresh start, here it is. 

Tonight, then is the perfect night to write down all your bad habits or things you no longer want in your life, and then burn the paper on which you've jotted them, letting them go with the darkness. Don't give them too much thought or attention.  This is a ritual of letting go.  Scribble quickly, don't mull or mope.  Then burn them and say goodbye.  Forget about those things from then on, and turn your attention to the new things you want to bring in to replace them. Make a list of every wonderful think you want in the new year.

Tonight is the night I traditionally leave my letter to Santa out with an offering of cookies and milk.  (I'll leave it out again on Christmas Eve, cause I like to cover my bases.)  It contains everything I hope for, wish for, dream of, desire and crave in the coming year. 

Santa always delivers, too. I just received one of my wishes from last year's Santa letter this past Sunday--my whole family together, including my soulmate, celebrating holidays in peace and joy. I can remember when such a thing seemed impossible.  But it unfolded easily, naturally, at its own pace, in its own time, and was absolutely wonderful.  

Another wish granted!  Thank you, Santa.  I really do believe!

What are you letting go of tonight?

What are you going to draw into your life to replace it in the coming year?

What can I do to help? (I can't read manuscripts, folks, but I can advise, comfort, talk and listen.)

Blessed Solstice and a Peaceful Yuletide to one and all!